Hold to the Rod...yeah the one made out of rope

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This is what happens when you cross an out of control fog machine with a very sensitive smoke alarm.  The idea was pretty awesome...the execution not so much.  Too bad when they figured this out there were already about 20 children gathered for the primary activity entitled "red is for courage".  I think the big red fire truck was quite appropriate for the day actually and they should have just claimed they did it on purpose.  And honestly it made waking up early on a saturday sooo much better.  The best part was overhearing perplexed firemen discuss the rope that was running throughout the building.  "Apparently," they said, " this rope is not here all the time and is somehow part of the activity for today and has nothing to do with their church".  Ahh yes Mr. Fireman.  That is in fact the iron rod.  AKA the word of God.  And we hang on to it so we don't get lost in the building (thats what we told the kids anyway). (Oh by the way the fog was for the part of the dream where they pass through the mist.  It worked fine without it though) Thankfully the rest of the activity went smoothly and even more thankfully there are such things as primary songs to occupy bunches of children dressed in red while the firemen figured out how to turn the alarms off.

 

This happens to be Head, Shoulders, Knees and toes in Spanish!  Who knew they were that smart!?

In the spirit of Hooyah

I did a google search on "military spouse" and this is what came up.  Quite telling if you ask me.  (and arent you proud I figured out how to post a picture?)  Lately I have been feeling like this far too often.  I have found that a lot of my prayers are devoted to asking for assistance to calm my angry feelings toward this crazy job that I am ashamed to admit are often times misdirected at my wonderful husband. My health is declining both mentally and physically and sometimes I sit down and cry as my mind convinces myself I cant do this anymore. Then right before I total annihilation of body and spirit occurs a tiny bit of strength offering a small glimmer of hope rises from somewhere in my being and I wipe off my tears and move on with my day.   This life that is dictated by something other than myself is exhausting but I am trying my best because I love my spouse and he loves what he does.  And I suppose if he wasn't doing it someone else would have to be and I would not wish that on anyone I know.  On a happier note the military in a strange way has led me to what I want to do with my life.  And has made me appreciate life more. Things can change in an instant and I wont be the only one to tell you that they often do.  In fact, I cant remember the last time David told me something related to work that didnt change by the end of the day.  And even though I spend lots of hours mad, I would be lying if I didn't say at the end of the day I'm not proud to see this... HOOYAH!

just a bunch of side notes

Now I think would be the perfect time to post pictures. David came home after three weeks of being away, Easter happened, spent conference weekend with the family.  Yes this would be perfect for me to figure out how to post pictures...except I didnt take any.  Once again I failed to take pictures. I brought my camera. I brought a freshly charged battery (my camera battery dies super often) and I still did not take a single picture. I once upon a time took pictures of everything (not as good as some of my friends or family members...cough cough aunty jade) but I was always there with camera in hand to snap at least a few.  If I plan on making it back to Europe in the next couple years I better start learning to take some pictures! (random side note...I was kept up late last night by a party in the apartment above me...on a Monday yes I know that's weird...so I watched the travel channel.  A channel I flip to on occasion but have never before watched this particular show.  It started off in Edinburgh.  I didnt realize how well I knew those streets. I found myself talking to the TV...turn left there! you will find the cutest and most delicious pub or turn right there if you fancy a quaint little shop with amazing chocolate soup! And when the people on the show started to climb Arthur's Seat (I think the only hike I have ever really enjoyed) I started to realize that my heart just loves Europe.  Sigh. Some day.) ok back from the side note. On to another. I have a serious problem saying no. My husband was gone for three weeks and had to work another 24 hour shift last night so we planned an "us day" for today.  When my friend called and asked for a babysitter for later tonight I didn't want to say no. After discussing it with my wonderful husband and he sweetly reminded me I promised him a date day/evening and that since we have not had the chance to spend this sort of time with each other in some weeks and wont for over half of this year due to a deployment I knew I was going to have to do my unthinkable. say no.  the word is shorter than yes but for some reason still harder to say for me. The guilt over saying no sticks with me for days. (Oddly it lasts longer than the guilt at saying yes even if I happen to be saying yes to something I knew I should have said no to). I wish I could just say yes all the time!  I keep promising pictures (and to be funnier but that is another problem entirely).  I think I need help in that area.  Can anyone tell me how to post pictures or how to do a click here for more info type thing?  I swear I am the only one left that does not know.  And now it is time for me to go get ready for "Us day" with my love :).

magic fortune cookie say...

I got home tonight and felt like rambling on for a bit so here I am.  I got a fortune cookie with my Chinese dinner tonight.  My fortune said something like "you and your spouse will have a long happy relationship". How great!  If only fortune cookies were like fairy Godmothers and because it was said it shall be done.  While I do expect that my amazing husband and I will have an eternal happy relationship I don't think it will be because of some magic fortune, but rather a lot of hard work from both of us. I am headed into week three of David being gone.  It's still not easy even though we have done this a few times now.  Every time we go through it, it surprises me that its all the little things that I miss the most.  Having someone to comment to about the show that's on TV, having someone to eat dinner with, having someone to laugh with about the day.  I guess it all comes down to sharing. Life is sad when there's no sharing.  Friends are nice (though I don't have many of those in San Diego) but no one can be him, no one can be my best friend like he is.  That just may be the secret to marriage. Friendship. How many people forget that once upon time their spouse was their best friend.  That's why they married them. And that is where the romance comes from.  I hope that 50 years and a few kids down the road that David and I both still share the same playful, warm, comforting friendship that we have shared for the past few years.  We aren't afraid to disagree.  We have before and we will in the future, but as long as we remember and respect our friendship things will always be just fine.  Its interesting maintaining our relationship over e-mail. Its not ideal for sure.  But this year its what we will have.  And next year we will probably have some other obstacle in our path.  That is just how life is. And boy is it exciting.  I don't think I would have it any other way. Maybe my next post will be less serious and more humorous.  I'll try to think of some jokes.  Oh and maybe I will learn how to post pictures :)

where we find our courage...

Ugghh... I am in the middle of the longest 2 days of my life.  And I have 15 more to go.  Yuck! I had a bit of a good thought while I was reading my scriptures today though. I was thinking I really love that we read these stories over and over so that we can act like these amazing faithful people when we are in tough situations.  I can learn to be brave and have courage from them so when I need the strength most of all it's there.  I can stay calm and put my faith in my Heavenly Father because so many have done it before me and it has worked out just fine.  Being pretty much confined to bed is a bit of a bummer.  Ive been eating out of a bag of fishies, and up until this morning they tasted pretty good.  I don't think I imagined when I got married that it would mean being alone a lot more than I was before I got married.  And I don't think I knew I had the type of strength that I have.  In fact I think I fell apart more at the Doctor's office when David was with me than when I was alone.  Because I could.  Because he was there for me to lean on.  But I have learned how to be the one he leans on as well.  I'm proud of my husband and the work he does to keep not only our family safe but others safe as well.  Somebody has to do it and the fact that he volunteered is amazing to me.  Of course I have my moments where I throw myself a pity party and cry about how I have to go through all this sickness and pain alone and sometimes he whines about the hardship of being in the military but I notice on the days where we care less about our own hardships and more about each others hardships that things go better. I notice that I'm less afraid and he is less stressed.  And we end up strengthening our relationship instead of being angry at our situation.  I'm thankful for all the people who came before us...both our heroes in the scriptures and our heroes in the military and for what they have taught me about being brave and what truly are tough situations. But most of all I'm thankful for what they have taught me about turning to my Heavenly Father and the peace and comfort that can be found.

all the random OCD...

     This blogging thing is getting better I think.  I am starting to grasp that I can pretty much say whatever pops into my head.  I have a tiny band of followers...about 3 I think... so I will try my best to provide entertainment.  Im currently trying to find housing in Provo. It is probably the most annoying thing in the world.  Everything is overpriced and ridiculous and requiring an obnoxious amount of money up front.  Like I just have thousands of spare dollars lying around to secure a contract.  Give me a break!  sheesh.  I dont even REALLY want to live there but I have to finish school.  Its a crime to rip students off like that!  Anyway enough on that rant...just had to get it out.
  On a different random note... David and I practically live in our car...well not really but since he works so much and we only have the one we are constantly driving it to wherever we both need to be.  We decided today to wash it because it has been months since it has been cleaned and we expected some punk child to write "wash me" on the back of it at any second.  So David takes it to the gas station car wash...it turned on, sprayed the car down with suds, and then decided to shut off.  Great!  So since we live in an apartment and our car looked worse than before I decided we should live big and pay 15 dollars to get it vacuumed out and rewashed at the car wash down the street.  so worth it.  And since Outback Steakhouse was right next to it and I knew they were giving out free appetizers to the military in March I suggested my husband take me out.  Aww so sweet of him. I am determined this week to learn how to post pictures on here so hopefully I can start including those. 
   Third random note...I'm in a debate as to whether or not to go to palm springs...to go or not to go.  Sounds like an easy question right?  And it seems Go would be the correct answer but I am having this debate in my head.  Ever since I moved to San Diego I have discovered my OCD is worse than I thought.  The blankets have to be straight before I can do to sleep, snapping fingers bother me, kids running around screaming at church with parents that don't care drives me downright crazy, the music in the car cant be too loud or too soft...oh goodness someone put me in a crazy house now! Time to go straighten the blankets, turn on House, and relax for the night.

finally...sheesh!

So I am now officially a Wallace.  CAARRAAAZZYY!!  New legal name: Marissa Deyon Wallace. They said I could change my middle name while I was there if I wanted to but I like mine just fine. I moved further back in the alphabet though...something I (a child always at the end of the line in school) promised myself I would give my kids a better life but alas I guess I jinxed myself and they will be worse off than I was...unless the class decided to line up in reverse alphabetical order and then they are golden! Not that I am thinking about having kids anytime soon...thought I would throw that out there in case people start getting the wrong ideas from me.  David is still gone and I think this has been the longest week and a day of my life.  I guess it hasnt been made better by the fact that I have been so sick and practically living in the Doctor's office.  It was nice to take a break and spend the weekend in Corona at home.  I needed a little bit of stress taken off.  I have not been doing well this time. I thought I was getting so much better too. darn.  Lucky for me I have the most amazing husband in the world and he sacrificed who knows what at work to be able to call me tonight and let me know that even though he isn't physically here with me that he cares and will always be my shoulder to lean on.  I am so thankful for the way that my Heavenly Father has been taking care of me and helping me mend a life that a year ago I considered to be very broken. I cant wait for our sealing in May because that will be the start of a forever of togetherness.  I love being in love.