So for I've learned

Since we are not moving until the Spring,  I have been spending time learning things about this new place called "The East Coast". Let me share some of them with you.

1. There are Hurricanes there
2. Oddly there are Earthquakes there also
3. Everyone there works for the government. There aren't too many other options.
4. Traffic there is worse than the 91 during rush hour. Not sure how traffic can get much worse than a dead stop, but it is apparently.
5. I will need both heavy coats and short shorts there.
6. There is a TON of history. Battle grounds, holy places, and awesome beginnings.
7. There is lots to see and do, but I am kinda already starting to miss home.
8. Government housing is pretty nice. Maybe they will let us move in here:

Heart Broken

I am following the lead of a dear friend of mine in the hopes that this helps not only me, but others around me (and also my husband is convinced that writing is therapeutic). I'm not sure where to start exactly, so I guess I will just go and see where I end up.

There they were 6, not 1 or 2, 6 positive pregnancy tests lined up on my bathroom counter. After the first one, I had to be certain it was correct, so over the next few days I took more. I wasn't overly shocked. We had been trying for a few months. But I was so happy and so at peace and I felt very prepared. Conceiving a child is certainly the best diet plan because I haven't eaten that healthy in years. I was willing to do whatever it took to protect that little one (very little at this time) forever. I felt connected to him/her from the very beginning, and I felt my Heavenly Father's love all around me. And I certainly have never been so elated to be that sick in my entire life. Life was very good. Then the bleeding started. At first just a spot here and there. And then the cramping came (I will spare the rest of the details) and it was over. I wasn't far along, and I knew that miscarriage, especially for a first child, was quite common as I had been taught that in several of my BYU courses, but I didn't want to think it would happen to me. I cried. I cried for days.  I didn't expect the physical and spiritual pain that would follow. I literally felt like my heart was broken and my soul was torn to shreds. I prayed fervently for comfort. There were times I wondered why my Heavenly Father didn't think I would be a good mom. I saw teens and drug addicts having babies on TV. How did they receive such a blessing and I could not?

I have since learned not to think this way. My husbands faith never wavered. He held me tight and did his best to dry my tears. He knew that everything happens for a reason, and when the time is right, we will be blessed as well (he has had to remind me of this a lot lately). I have a few friends, who I consider to be very good friends, announce the birth's of their babies this upcoming February...the same month my little one would have been born. And every time I saw a new announcement I cried long and hard. I cried when we purchased a crib for my brother and sister in-law and their new baby knowing that I might never get to purchase one for our home. And I cry every time someone asks me why we don't have children yet and when we are going to try, especially family members.  My broken heart is still not fully healed and my spirit is still quite sensitive, but I am praying for understanding now and for the ability to recognize that there is a plan for me. And whether that plan includes children or not, or maybe it includes them but not through normal methods, I don't quite know yet. I am learning to trust in the plan, and for my husband's sake I am going to learn to not cry so much(which could prove to be the hardest thing of all). I have been reading my favorite scripture a lot lately, so I thought I would share that with all of you in the hopes that it will comfort another as it has comforted me.

"My son (or daughter in my case) Peace be unto thy soul. Thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high..."(D&C 121:7-8).

Does the bird have a name?

Today at work a soft spoken military spouse called the Fleet and Family Support Center where I work to ask questions. She was a young newlywed...VERY young and VERY newly wed. Her husband had recently joined the Navy and she, for lack of better words, knew absolutely nothing. She asked question after question ranging from if it snows in San Diego and if people die in the earthquakes to the dangers of deployment and what ship life is like. Some of the questions did make me laugh a little bit (on the inside), but it is these people that make me love my job. Shortly after I began to think about my own situation. The next few years of our life have recently been made a little bit clearer, and with this clarity came a slew of never-ending questions.
Like:

What exactly is that flower in the corner of that sign? Does the bird have a name? Why is the only picture I could find online of this sign on an Asian wikipedia page?  How big are the bugs there really? How is the traffic? Do people die from freezing to death in the SNOW?!? I think I might call up their Fleet and Family and ask all of these things. I wont mention that I work for the Navy or that I have been married for a couple of years. Because even though I am super excited and really looking forward to this new chapter in our lives, every so often I feel a little bit scared of being so far away from home in an almost foreign land. But we go where my spouse is needed and we do the best we can.

I will miss you California.

Earthquakes and all.

Giant Snowcones

A few weeks ago we took a trip to Hawaii with my family. It was a graduation present from them for me. It was very relaxing and amazing to get away (especially since we are both working now and don't really see as much of each other).
The sunrises and sunsets were beautiful,

the random rain showers created the brightest, most picturesque rainbows,

the ocean was clear and warm,

the snowcones were yummy,

The temple was just as ETERNAL

 The Entertainment was grand,

 and the company was fantastic.

Life is a little slower there and it always reminds me to appreciate the little things in life and look at life with a whole new pair of eyes.

Yeah my hair was kinda a frizzy mess the whole time, and yeah I got a little sunburned that first day, and yeah I cut my foot open on a rock (at least I didnt step on a sea urchin like my little sis shay) but those are just hazards of life. we live, we make mistakes, we learn, we get tan, and when all else fails just
eat giant snow cones and smile like crazy.