Live in Thanksgiving Daily

"That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." Alma 34:38

My little sister is on a mission in New York and they are doing a Thanksgiving project. She asked us to take a picture with this sign and tell her what we are thankful for. The last few years for us have been hard…really hard. But we still have a lot to be thankful for. After baby David died I had a really hard time feeling thankful. I felt a lot of anger and a lot of hurt. I didn't understand why after years of trying for a baby that he wouldn't be allowed to stay with us. And that it would happen right after we moved thousands of miles away from family. My anger wasn't necessarily directed at God, but it didn't leave room for a spirit of Thanksgiving in my heart. And it left me feeling alone and so broken.

As time passed, I realized that being humble and being thankful were critical for my healing. And it allowed me to see the amazing tender mercies that I was being given the entire time. I made it a priority every night to think of what I was thankful for and thank my Heavenly Father for those things. When Jax started having all of his medical issues this past summer, I remembered to be thankful. There were many nights  when I felt so defeated at the end of the day. The trials ahead seemed insurmountable. The pain in my heart from missing my first baby and the pain from dealing with the health and development problems of my second baby made my entire body ache. And still, there are nights when I don't feel very thankful. Some nights I just want to cry and be angry. And some nights my heart hurts so much it doesn't feel like anything, especially being thankful, will heal it. But every night as I pray, I have no trouble finding things to be thankful for. The trials and the hurt are still there, but there are blessings also, and so many tender mercies. 

I have discovered that when I humble myself and live in thanksgiving daily that I am a better mom to my children. I celebrate Jax's abilities more than I dwell on his disabilities. I can be excited and relieved that my new daughter made it here safely, instead of being stressed that she might also have disabilities. I can have a heart full of love rather than a heart full of pain. 

This holiday season, may your heart be blessed with the spirit of Thanksgiving. May it's broken pieces be healed as you recognize the tender mercies of the Lord in your life.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :)