Today, in Relief Society, we sang "Lord, I would follow Thee" for the opening song. The words to the second verse really struck me. "Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." This didn't strike me because I am a very harsh critic of others, but more because I am a harsh critic of myself. I find myself often comparing myself to others and always coming up short to their fabulousness. I could relate to having sorrow hidden in the quiet heart, and I realized that others who I saw as much better than I, also have trials and also experience pain. I still ask often what I have done to not be worthy of the blessing of children like so many around me. And maybe it isn't me at all. Maybe the spirits meant to reside in my home are not ready to be here yet. Maybe Heavenly Father's plan for them does not start until much later. And maybe the sorrow in my heart has a purpose for my life and my learning. The atonement has always been real to me. I have felt the pain that sin brings, and the healing joy that Christ has offered. But I have learned more about the atonement and about my Savior through this trial, than any other. I understand my Heavenly Father's love for his children more, and I am trying to learn to not compare myself to others but rather be the best that I can be and be satisfied with that. And until I am blessed with the thing my heart yearns for, I will continue to say "Lord, I would follow Thee."
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